A month ago I wrote this but somehow didn’t publish it.

I feel I’m becoming a Lifer at Google. If you work for a single company long enough that you can imagine yourself retiring at that company, you are a Lifer.

I’m here at Google more than twelve years. That’s long enough for me to become a Lifer, I guess. It’s kind of a shame. When I moved from Japan to the US, I wanted to experience more diverce careers. That didn’t happen.

I’m old enough to be OK with it but it feels weird. Before I arrived at this place, I was a hopper and had never worked at any single company for more than three years.

A month ago it was disappointing to recognize me as a Lifer. Today it is scary. I can still imagine myself retiring here. What I find not able to do anymore is picture any other non-devastating future. And we just learned that life here can end at any time for no reason.

I want to ask Lifers elsewhere – What’s it been like to be one at, say, IBM? How about Adobe, Microsoft, Apple, or HP? Please tell me it is okay. Tell me you are okay.

This was such an insensitive, selfish and cowardly rumbling. There are people who lost their jobs. I should just collect the pieces and move on. That’s the right thing to do here.

I’ll leave this post alone to mark my wimp.